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Pick Up the Phone Booth and TSC

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Thorn:
I'm surprised I've gotten all "normal" actions so far. It's so much easier to write outlandish outcomes for crazy and impossible actions than it is for typical ones. :P douglas's misfortune could pass for a C-grade high school English essay.

Then again, I like a challenge.~

yse:
Randomness you want, randomness you get.

> go fishing

"Hey!" you shout to the TSCers over to the west. "Let's go fishing!"

They respond: "Nah, too busy idling." You ask again ten minutes later, and a few people agree to accompany you. The only body of water you know of in Utah is the Great Salt Lake, so after some time spent driving, you arrive, break out the fishing rods, and sit on the shoreline. Of course, due to the high salinity, there aren't any fish in the lake.

*You wasted time fishing in Utah, you moron*

Stefan:
>try to get free quarters from the phone booth

You mash the coin return on the phone in the booth. Damn, nothing. You pull a hammer out of hammerspace and begin bashing the phone. Woo, a buck twenty-five!

You look through the glass, and all of the TSCers who are outside are silent, staring at you. Rolken and flyby enter the booth and ask why you smashed their phone. You don't have an answer ready.

*You are banned from TSC and spend $200 replacing the phone booth*

P.P.A.:
>goto [PHONEBOOTH]
>dial [THORN'S NUMBER]
>file complaint "I AM NOT A FURRY"

> deny truth

You call Thorn in the phone booth and scream "I AM NOT A FURRY!" at the top of your lungs. He apologizes to you and asks why you're calling: he's at the convention, in the house. You head inside and meet him in a bedroom. He asks if you could help with an assignment for his psychology class; you don't see why not, so you ask him what you need to do. He asks you to lie down on the bed and relax.

Twenty minutes later, you wake up. "Wow, you went under pretty easily," says Thorn as you try to remember what just happened. He continues: "Okay, now that that's over, what was it you wanted to argue about again?" You think for a second... "You know, for some reason I think I wanted to argue that I'm not a furry, but that can't be right... I mean, look at me," you say as you show Thorn a hand with no fur on it whatsoever. The two of you decide to pretend the argument never happened, and go out to get an ice cream.

*Your problems have been solved via hypnotherapy*

Alondite:
> Slide off the roof of the house using genus as a makeshift "shingle board."

"Wheeee!!!" you scream, as the shingles go fwipfwipfwipfwip under genus's body, as you slide down the roof. You go into a two-story freefall over the edge, until you and genus hit the ground with a thud. genus's neck is broken from the fall.

The authorities don't care that everybody at the convention claims that they are better off without genus. In no time flat you're found guilty of murder and sent to a Utah prison.

*You spend the next 20 years being fondled by your cellmate, a muscular male that calls himself "Susan"*

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