The Sonic Center

The Lounge => Wikkity! => Topic started by: flyby on March 05, 2009, 05:37:27 pm

Title: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: flyby on March 05, 2009, 05:37:27 pm: So I'm technically not supposed to go onto chat/IM programs while I'm working, so I am making this thread so you can all entertain me in the forums. Humor me at least today, as it's my birthday!
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Rolken on March 05, 2009, 05:43:12 pm: a water bottle steals a skateboard (http://www.goonskate.com/video.php?id=4575)
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Alondite on March 05, 2009, 05:43:28 pm: Well happy birthday! I'm sorry, I'm not very amusing today :(. Also, I guess it's pretty obvious who's the one bringing home the bacon. >______>
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: flyby on March 05, 2009, 05:49:23 pm: Dang jiggity! And then I have to cook it too :(
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Cutiefox on March 05, 2009, 06:14:07 pm: Happy Birthday to flyby! :D
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: P.P.A. on March 05, 2009, 06:25:40 pm: Happy birthday. I'm currently busy now though, sorry. :(
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Selphos on March 05, 2009, 06:41:15 pm: Happy (insert number here) birthday flyby :o

Also er, yeah. I dunno how to amuse you people >_>
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Antronach on March 05, 2009, 07:05:30 pm: Happy birthday flyby!

Now for some funnies:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAo-EEn7f44&feature=PlayList&p=B6FEF44FAD615360&index=0

:P
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Cutiefox on March 05, 2009, 07:23:23 pm: Also, I believe you may find this amusing> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2PuBbxCHM8
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: General Throatstomper on March 05, 2009, 07:24:40 pm: Do you hate heavy metal?

I do too.

I'd have screamed louder, but then I suddenly didn't have any time to record.
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Spinballwizard on March 05, 2009, 10:59:14 pm: Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.

Ba-dum tsh!
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: magnum12 on March 06, 2009, 12:18:44 am: Happy birthday dood.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDoFS8eVksE&feature=channel_page
Speaks for itself

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=er1Q5qM6w-E
If Rolk ever makes ya mad, use this vid to give you ideas on how to pay him back.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cO3MttgvHUY
Behold the power of voice acting (and dialogue) so bad that it got the memetic mutation treatment. Stars the greatest disgrace to ever hit the Alpha Legion (and all of Chaos).
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: flyby on March 06, 2009, 02:46:34 am: Also for future reference for this topic...I'm not supposed to watch video (too hard on the network), and I have no speakers, so textual entertainment is best! (Photos work as well)

But, now that I am at home, I have enjoyed much these wonderful enjoyments! (23 btw Sondow).

So...I shall post again in this topic tomorrow when I am bored at work! Actually tomorrow I will take a book as I know our training is over, so I'm gonna definitely need more stuff to do. But entertain me anyway!
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Werey on March 06, 2009, 02:47:01 am: Happy Bday. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMNry4PE93Y. Bubi
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Werey on March 06, 2009, 02:48:02 am: Now you tell, me You happened to post that just as i posted my previous thread. I have nothing amusing so just happy birthday
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Luxray on March 06, 2009, 02:51:21 am: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTJN-lP0cXk <-- watch for gerbillsoft at 0:35

Werey, there's a modify button at the top right of your post.
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Werey on March 06, 2009, 03:13:09 am: I saw that :o. Ah well. LMFAO AT 35
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Aitamen on March 06, 2009, 04:46:34 am: Quote from: flyby on March 05, 2009, 05:37:27 pm
So I'm technically not supposed to go onto chat/IM programs while I'm working, so I am making this thread so you can all entertain me in the forums. Humor me at least today, as it's my birthday!

It's ok, flyby... and happy birthday!
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: P.P.A. on March 06, 2009, 06:59:57 am: http://www.zompist.com/spoke.html
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: EngiNerd on March 06, 2009, 10:02:45 am: Oh happy belated-ness flyby!
Dang, if I had known, I would have said something yesterday.
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Buizel on March 06, 2009, 10:58:42 am: The topic title is clearly stolen from one of my lines that I said in chat a few days ago.
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: flyby on March 06, 2009, 06:13:28 pm: Inspired, not stolen ;D

Also, entertain me! I have 47 more minutes!
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Aitamen on March 06, 2009, 06:40:43 pm: Quote from: P.P.A. on March 06, 2009, 06:59:57 am
http://www.zompist.com/spoke.html

Dude... that's... just... AWESOME!Q
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Spinballwizard on March 06, 2009, 11:20:14 pm: Two hats are on a hat rack. One says to the other, "You stay here, I'll go on a head."

The baseball started to grow larger. And then it hit me.

Let me know if you're tired of bad puns yet flyby >_>
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: flyby on March 07, 2009, 06:52:31 am: Never! Keep them coming!
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Werey on March 07, 2009, 06:55:07 am: A man sees 2 girls 1 cup and says: Man that shit is nasty xD
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Thorn on March 07, 2009, 11:04:12 am: (http://www.dreamviews.com/community/images/smilies/banana.gif)

You know you wanna sing the song now. You've seen it; you cannot unsee it.
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: General Throatstomper on March 07, 2009, 01:33:30 pm: You could take your turn in Risk.
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: magnum12 on March 08, 2009, 08:34:44 pm: Behold the uber adorable power of photoshop.
(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c27/j_hawk/dood.jpg)

I'd totally like to buy one of these dood.
(http://i275.photobucket.com/albums/jj298/gamegirlcolor/Prinny.jpg)
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Aitamen on March 09, 2009, 11:39:41 am: Dood... I'm so making a Prinny for you
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Eis Makai on March 09, 2009, 12:21:19 pm: Hey flyby. Here's a good one. Ruby and Sapphire were in the Jewel shop and they were looking for jewels to buy. So They were looking in the glass and they find rubies and sapphires. So they ask the jeweler to have them and when they took the jewels they were stolen by Pearl and Diamond. So then Emerald comes in and tries to stop them, but Gold and Silver stop them. Red and Blue team with Ruby and Sapphire and beats Pearl and Diamond but they didn't have the two jewels. So who took the two jewels? No one knows, but can you figure it out?
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: General Throatstomper on March 10, 2009, 01:51:12 am: Yoga Routine

1)Mountain-Right, so palms out. Tall, confident, whatever. Placebo effect, calming, yadayadayada.
2)Enter five point star, in the shape of a star. To get limber, or something of the sort.
3)Into angle, the posture wherein you look ridiculous with your arm outstretched over my head. It just seemed like a logical transition from 5 point. Why not stretch some muscles?
4)Leading into triangle, because I am a masochist and so can you. This is the one where you're painfully contorted, like someone who wants their cross section to look...something vaguely like a triangle.
5)Now, victory, to work your liver. Squat like a winner, and spread your arms (wrists facing you) in an arrogantly triumphant pose. You have only known the benefits of chakra when your opponent is offended by your egotism. Study hard, warrior.
6)Warrior next, because you like yoga so much that you're willing to endure the humiliation of looking like what you are not. This is a lunge, with your arms directly in front and behind you, a position such as an Aztec warrior might adopt if his intent was to sacrifice himself to the first wave of the Mayan assault.
7)And suddenly, for your triumphs, you are a hero. But you shouldn't brag about that. It's more like a working class hero, and at that more of a Green Day working class hero than a John Lennon working class hero. Deal, and on your hands and knees. Fold them under your peasant body.
8)Now, prostrate yourself as a lotus flower superimposed on your subconscious might if this flower never wanted to feel or look like a flower ever again. You know, sitting cross-legged.
9)Following this, you should behave like a small child because you just aren't relaxed enough yet, damnit. You need to have your forehead touching the mat, soaking up all the sweat from people in the last class and developing a nasty head rash. Which is to say that you're going to pretend you're Muslim and praying, before suddenly realizing that you're Buddhist and stretching. Following this epiphany, shove your forehead into the floor with your arms by your side.
10)I think you're too relaxed at the moment, and suggest that you pretend that you're a sail boat sailing on the ocean during a lightning storm. In a tsunami. And pursued by a sea serpent. Only your lower back can make contact with the floor. Bring your arms and legs up. If you don't do it right, you sink and die.
11)You failed, or wanted to anyways. Regardless, you're feeling particularly morbid and should therefore enter dead man. Pretend that you're dead. Just do it for a second. Think of what impact your death would have on everyone you know, then meditate on the ramifications to others whom you don't. So remember, you're completely lifeless and exposed, on your back. “Dead”. It's ok though, you're not really dead...just emo.
12)The dog obeys, and you will too. Put your hands and knees on the mat, and hang your head in shame for complacency.
13)Since you feel like unusual roleplay, you know what's cool? Snakes and back pain. You should hurt your back while pretending to be a snake. Lay on your stomach, then raise the upper half of your torso and hold your position with your arms directly below you. For optimum discomfort, be sure to thrust your pelvis into the mat.
14)Today, you will act like you're Cherry from Planet Terror. Except that instead of a machine gun for a leg, you've got a bow and arrow. Extend one leg, and hold the other with your arm outstretched. Exactly as if your leg were a bow because the flamethrower upgrade was too expensive for someone of your modest means to afford.
15)Oh no, a zombie just launched an RPG at you and you're on the ground! This means it's time for useless talent #34: bend yourself into a table, stomach up. Then go to Mexico, give birth to El Wray's child, and travel the countryside looking for a microbiologist while protecting a band of survivors from “the freaks”.
16) Actually, cats are awesome. Maybe you'd be more awesome if you were a cat. Do it. Go. Act like a kitty: on your hands and knees, relax your shoulders then STRAIGHTEN YOUR BACK ALL OF A SUDDEN BECAUSE OH SNAP THERE'S A SMALL YAPPY DOG AND YOU WANT TO INTIMIDATE IT.
17)You're a pest. A locust. Lay on your stomach, then lift your legs and arms at the same time. Feel your skin tighten against your ribs, hear a rip, then look down in horror when you realize that you can see your own lungs.
18)Balance is important, and a tree is balanced. You are not balanced. Be like the tree, and stand on one foot. Then bring your other leg into your knee, gain your balance, clasp your hands, and raise them over your head like a punk who thinks they know martial arts because they don't have inner ear problems.
19)Balance is still important. Trees are still balanced, and you are still not balanced; don't worry though, this is ok because a sage is also balanced. To think like a sage, and eventually balance like a sage, you must first do what a sage would not. With one leg on the ground, tilt your whole body to one side. If you don't fall and crack your skull open, you'll be a step closer to enlightenment.
20)In your elevated state, you have a spiritual revelation: you must enter a childlike catatonia, and function as a happy baby. Roll on your back, and keep your knees tucked into your chest while you enjoy the mostly Catholic shame of harming the mother who did nothing but suffer for you.
21)So far, your hamstrings are notably underworked. This is why you can't have nice things. Since you're an ascetic, it would be a good idea to overcompensate for several understandable shortcomings in a cathartic fashion. I also suggest the seated forward bend, this absolutely brutal exercise where you position your legs in front of you and lean through with both arms stretched outwards. It's only working when you pass out in agony.
22)That wasn't good enough. Strong people can tolerate more. As punishment, you will perform the appeasing hands to feet ritual. With your legs straight, bring your hands down to your feet and tuck your head into your knees. Reflect on all the ways in which you've wronged other people before weeping uncontrollably at your transgressions in reasoning.
23)I still like pain, and I hope you do because there will be some pilates. The first position will be the hundred, in which you extend your legs upwards with only the upper and lower sections of your back touching the ground. Raise your neck and arms, then just stay there for a while. Ideally, before your hamstring snaps.
24)That must have been exhausting, you clearly need a break from rigorously strengthening the muscles in your abdomen. Hey, wouldn't it be sweet if you could imprint your spine into the mat? With your knees up and arms by your side, slowly stop caring about everyone and everything. If you did it properly, you can see your spine when you look in the mat. If you didn't, you've got some serious chi issues that you need to work out, man.
25)You didn't really earn that. No, you should suffer for willful ingratitude. Become a crab, boiling alive in a crab bisque that someone will send back to the kitchen anyways because the consistency was not to his liking. Put your legs straight out ahead of you, round your spine, and then curl yourself into a wretched, mewling ball of human weakness. Rock back and forth for a while, until you appreciate that arrogance sowed your discord.

Now, relaxation.

You are lying on a yoga mat, exhausted from a tiring workout. You barely tried anything that you were supposed to, and yet you still feel ground from the effort. Your own physical weakness is abhorrently clear at this moment. You understand that other people can do this effortlessly, and dwell obsessively on your own comparative failures. However, it doesn't matter that other people are stronger, faster, smarter, and funnier than you. It only matters that you can learn to shut out the savage reality that threatens to completely crush your soul. With the right social conditioning, you can still function as a happy little worker bee without any of the accompanying envy for people you view as your natural superiors. It's possible that only a numbing pinprick of regret from your comfortable injection of perverted rationales will jar you from the drudgery of your day-to-day life on the assembly line of culture, progress, and consumption. You can relax, knowing that the rest of your life has already begun. Accepting that your labor is needed, you sink into an impressionable state of consciousness, attuned to your environment and desperate for anything to inflate your crumpled ego. In your mind, continue to think that you are free. Stimulate yourself with the promise that your toil will defend the systems they told you to like that are beyond your understanding or appreciation. Remember that everyone is your friend, and that your leaders use you to positive means. Begin to awaken. Picture yourself coming out of a deep sleep and into a deeper stupor. Wiggle your hands and feet. Accept the innumerable lies that make your life bearable. Welcome this tolerable complacency, your own beautiful occlusion of an inner melancholy. Slowly, steadily, open your eyes to your blindness. Throughout the day, wield the power of your ignorance against all others who subvert your personal narcotic with unsettling accusations of duplicity. Defeat them with your numbers. Now you are ready to follow. Enjoy everyone else's day.
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Werey on March 10, 2009, 04:04:05 am: I think ill read that, when i have gtime xD
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: EngiNerd on March 10, 2009, 09:17:05 am: Posting that on my school's joke folder. Because it's awesome.
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Eis Makai on March 10, 2009, 11:30:26 am: Has anyone even read my riddle/joke?
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: flyby on March 10, 2009, 02:13:42 pm: genus wins the topic. But everyone, keep posting!!!

Also Eisman, I have -no- idea what is going on in your joke/riddle.
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Rolken on March 10, 2009, 02:46:41 pm: Where did you put the powdered milk >:O
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: flyby on March 10, 2009, 02:54:03 pm: I told you to come onto gmail if you had a question. It should be on the top shelf of the cupboards to the right of the stove (the big ones, not the small ones).
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Rolken on March 10, 2009, 02:56:28 pm: Yeah, well, SonicAD told me to come on TSC. Who do you think I'm going to listen to?

edit: note that SonicAD is a respected TSC staff member, probably

edit: also that milk in the fridge really ought to be tossed
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: flyby on March 10, 2009, 03:04:52 pm: Feel free to toss it then.

Also SonicAD is not staff <_<
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: magnum12 on March 10, 2009, 03:31:04 pm: Gold and Silver have them. They foil Emerald's attempt to stop Diamond and Pearl. It can't be Ruby and Sapphire because they were the ones who got looted. It also can't be Red and Blue because they were in the same squad as R/S and no previous mention was made of them. Gold and Silver were successful and the R/S and R/B team ran into D/P afterwards.
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Alondite on March 10, 2009, 03:49:32 pm: BS. I have them, then pawned them off for Platinum >_>
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Maru Kiba on March 10, 2009, 03:53:06 pm: I was going to say either Yellow or Crystal since they were the only few that wasn't mentioned or seen. They could have easily gotten them since they were unnoticed. But magnum might be right.
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: flyby on March 10, 2009, 05:03:42 pm: I have actually gotten calls today :O
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Selphos on March 10, 2009, 10:01:02 pm: Eis your pokemon "riddle" fails and lacks sense, so I'll just take magnum's response >_>
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Spinballwizard on March 11, 2009, 03:26:42 am: There's this pirate, right? And every time he goes into battle, he yells, "Swab! Get me my red shirt!" The pirates usually fight off their enemies with only a few scratches.

The first mate goes up to the captain and asks him "Why the red shirt?"

The captain explains that he is the inspiration for the fighting spirit in his crew. Were he injured, they would lose their morale and be less willing to fight by his side. By wearing the red shirt, the crew does not see him bleed, and they continue to fight.

The first mate understands, but just then the armada shows up. The fleet's orders are to eradicate all the pirates in the area. The captain had heard about them before, but did not know they were this close. He calls out to the swab, "Swab, get me my brown pants!"
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Eis Makai on March 11, 2009, 11:31:23 am: Quote from: Pidgey on March 10, 2009, 10:01:02 pm
Eis your pokemon "riddle" fails and lacks sense, so I'll just take magnum's response >_>
Your response lacks any sort of smarts. Of course it makes sense dude. And you fail to see this because you're more dull and boring than looking at amoebas in a microscope while watching a old 80 minute documentary on them.
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Selphos on March 11, 2009, 08:10:32 pm: Oh dear, it does appear I have been flamed on an internet forum! I just might feel the need to hang myself in shame.

Anyway, gj Spinny, I actually lol'd at that
...well, almost.
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: flyby on March 12, 2009, 08:59:28 pm: I forthwith suspend Eisman from responding in this topic. Be good if you want to continue. NO FLAMING. This is all for my entertainment. No fighting!

With that, have a great day! :D
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: SonicAD on March 12, 2009, 10:30:41 pm: FLYBY
RISK
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: EngiNerd on March 13, 2009, 09:09:26 am: /me votes to not allow SonicAD on LandGrab anymore....
/me ducks
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: ieatatsonic on March 13, 2009, 12:23:26 pm: Quote from: Eis the Dragon on March 09, 2009, 12:21:19 pm
Hey flyby. Here's a good one. Ruby and Sapphire were in the Jewel shop and they were looking for jewels to buy. So They were looking in the glass and they find rubies and sapphires. So they ask the jeweler to have them and when they took the jewels they were stolen by Pearl and Diamond. So then Emerald comes in and tries to stop them, but Gold and Silver stop them. Red and Blue team with Ruby and Sapphire and beats Pearl and Diamond but they didn't have the two jewels. So who took the two jewels? No one knows, but can you figure it out?
Is it crystal?
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: General Throatstomper on March 13, 2009, 04:56:15 pm: Spinny found his last joke at the recycling plant. That's a painfully old joke. A painfully old joke that causes pain, and could collapse at any moment from the weight of existence. He needs original material. I've got some. For example:

Two men walk into a bar. Thirty years later, they die from cirrhosis of the liver.

I presented my routine to the class yesterday, and the teacher didn't say anything. It was awesome, I thought she was grounded enough to not take satire as derision for malice's sake. But apparently she spent time telling all of her other classes how terrible a person I am. Without naming my name, but naming my name, she said that a certain *someone* known to the everyone was completely ungrateful, wretched, iconoclastic (not her words, just more concise forms of expression), etc. Throughout the routines in other classes, she would desperately interrupt to affirm her self-worth: "you're getting something out of this, right? Yoga -is- constructive, isn't it?". Today, she said that we needed to take things a little more srsly because it's not ok to hurt other peoples' feelings guys. Then gave me a frosty glare which I returned. She blinked several times and broke gaze at approximately 10 seconds, to focus intently on the wall. After four seconds, she tried to look at me without catching my attention, but I stared fixedly at her like a winner. This means that I have the moral high ground.
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: flyby on March 13, 2009, 06:54:09 pm: I love yoga and can also appreciate you satire. :o
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Spinballwizard on March 15, 2009, 11:42:11 am: Genus I am completely aware that I am telling old, bad jokes. The entertainment is where she facepalms, asking herself "Why did I just read that!?"

I mean either that or I just link her to to my Warmachine (http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/album.php?aid=2421321&id=2241304) and Hordes (http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/album.php?aid=2344406&id=2241304) galleries on facebook, but there's only so far my artistic talent (or lack thereof) can take someone.

(PS: Don't friend me until after I crash the TSC convention.)
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Aitamen on March 15, 2009, 02:28:51 pm: Quote from: Spinballwizard on March 15, 2009, 11:42:11 am
Genus I am completely aware that I am telling old, bad jokes. The entertainment is where she facepalms, asking herself "Why did I just read that!?"

I mean either that or I just link her to to my Warmachine (http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/album.php?aid=2421321&id=2241304) and Hordes (http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/album.php?aid=2344406&id=2241304) galleries on facebook, but there's only so far my artistic talent (or lack thereof) can take someone.

(PS: Don't friend me until after I crash the TSC convention.)
Dude, you couldn't crash the TSC convention... we know you too well

you'd be like "Bam, spinny's in the HOUSE!", and try to disrupt our fun, and then you'd be like "oooooooooooooooo DDR!", and we'd be like "will you settle down now?" and you'd settle...

trust me dude... I tried to crash a party once and they had SSB... >_>
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: flyby on March 16, 2009, 05:26:19 pm: ITT Spinny has weird facebook rules.

2ndly, I am not allowed on facebook at work :( so no can see galleries, I'll check them at home later today.

BRING ON MORE CRAPPY JOKES!

Also genus's joke only works because genus is the one saying it, but it is great.
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: ieatatsonic on March 18, 2009, 10:48:14 pm: A rabbit and a kappa walk into a resturant and order miso soup and cuccumber beer. A crow flies in and takes a picture of them! They angrily chase the crow. Along the way, a frog caught the crow, but the frog got frozen. Then, abruptly, a knife flew outta knowhere, stabbing the crow.

What caused the knife to stab the crow?
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Selphos on March 19, 2009, 07:41:31 pm: Sakuya Izayoi got tired of their bickering and tossed the knife at the crow so they'd shut up

</touhou>

Alternatively, Dio Brando. After all, the frog was "frozen"...IN TIME :O
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Aitamen on March 19, 2009, 07:49:08 pm: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2119922710140880868&ei=P9nCSZ7YLYPE-wGDhvzhAQ&q=art+in+motion+hawaii&hl=en
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Selphos on March 19, 2009, 11:19:04 pm: That...is...awesome.
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Spinballwizard on March 20, 2009, 12:27:45 am: A man goes to the pharmacy counter and asks for a condom with insecticide. "Surely you've misspoken," the pharmacist says to him. "Don't you mean spermicide?"

"No, insecticide," the man says. "My wife's got a bug up her ass and I'm going to get it!"

...I can delete that if it's too dirty for TSC. (Is there such a thing?)
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Selphos on March 20, 2009, 09:43:05 am: ...Spinny that's just disturbing >_>

Though I didn't get it anyway
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Shadow Jacky on March 20, 2009, 11:43:54 am: XD Spinny
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Alondite on March 20, 2009, 02:22:17 pm: that is pure, triple distilled win Spinny.
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: magnum12 on March 20, 2009, 06:25:16 pm: Wrong, yet so funny.
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Spinballwizard on March 21, 2009, 02:35:12 pm: Quote from: Pidgey on March 20, 2009, 09:43:05 am
Though I didn't get it anyway
Just wait until you get older, Sondow. Just wait until you get older. >_>
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Nextgengamer9 on March 22, 2009, 04:50:22 pm: Quote from: Eis the Dragon on March 09, 2009, 12:21:19 pm
Hey flyby. Here's a good one. Ruby and Sapphire were in the Jewel shop and they were looking for jewels to buy. So They were looking in the glass and they find rubies and sapphires. So they ask the jeweler to have them and when they took the jewels they were stolen by Pearl and Diamond. So then Emerald comes in and tries to stop them, but Gold and Silver stop them. Red and Blue team with Ruby and Sapphire and beats Pearl and Diamond but they didn't have the two jewels. So who took the two jewels? No one knows, but can you figure it out?
Crystal stole it.

Person 1:Do you know what idk means?
Person 2: I don't know.
Person 1:Damn!Nobody knows!
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Spinballwizard on March 22, 2009, 10:45:37 pm: That's not so much funny as it is incredibly lame. Next.
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: magnum12 on March 23, 2009, 02:47:07 am: This vid is epic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJ8OjAB_e3g
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Alondite on March 23, 2009, 11:50:45 pm: The chicken and the egg are laying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face while the egg is frowning and looking slightly annoyed.

The egg mutters "Well I guess that answers that riddle".
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Selphos on March 24, 2009, 05:40:20 am: Alondite get your most sexual member title back >_>
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Alondite on March 24, 2009, 07:31:08 am: aw...but I like being the sexiest member :( . Ok ok...lol, I guess I should change it back.
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Selphos on March 24, 2009, 05:17:06 pm: Quote from: Alondite on March 24, 2009, 07:31:08 am
aw...but I like being the sexiest member :( . Ok ok...lol, I guess I should change it back.

"TSC's most sexual and sexiest member"?
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Alondite on March 24, 2009, 08:49:30 pm: MOST SEXUALIEST?!?!?!1?1?1 :O!!!1!
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Aitamen on March 25, 2009, 10:43:06 am: Quote from: Pidgey on March 24, 2009, 05:40:20 am
Alondite get your most sexual member title back >_>

I resent this on many levels...
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Selphos on March 27, 2009, 04:25:30 pm: Quote from: Aitamen on March 25, 2009, 10:43:06 am
Quote from: Pidgey on March 24, 2009, 05:40:20 am
Alondite get your most sexual member title back >_>

I resent this on many levels...

Explanation plz?
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Aitamen on March 27, 2009, 05:24:12 pm: Quote from: Pidgey on March 27, 2009, 04:25:30 pm
Explanation plz?

For a straight person to be called the most sexual is just plain wrong...

if there's any lack of lewdness in my speech or actions it's for the benefit of those around me, because I know most/many aren't interested in sex in a social atmosphere...

I do my best to avoid the four topics of intellectual conversation, while here at TSC.... it's harder than it looks...
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Upthorn on March 27, 2009, 05:39:01 pm: Quote from: Aitamen on March 27, 2009, 05:24:12 pm
Quote from: Pidgey on March 27, 2009, 04:25:30 pm
Explanation plz?

For a straight person to be called the most sexual is just plain wrong...
Sexual orientation is completely uncorrelated to a person being sexually minded.
"most sexual" refers to the latter, not the former, and of all the people on the forum Alondite seems to be the most likely to be thinking about sex at any given time. Your arguement makes no logical sense.
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: General Throatstomper on April 04, 2009, 12:45:15 am: My yoga instructor had a mental breakdown after I read the relaxation piece for my routine. She took a week's leave of absence, and when she came back we started fencing. I have entertaining stories.

The first day of the program, we picked foils and practiced thrusting. Since I put my left foot forward with a right handed foil, lunging with my my right heel back, she explained to me that I was left handed. I told her that I was ambidextrous and just put myself into what was a naturally defensive position, so she brought my a leftie rapier and said it was ok to be different. I don't think she knows what the word ambidextrous means, but I didn't care enough to argue the point. She was hostile when someone else told her why she was being ridiculous, and insisted that I would be better leading left. It's quite amusing, actually, because nobody thinks to reverse their sword motions against me; I wind up winning duels because my opponents do dumb things like try to stab inwards behind my back or swat my blade closer to themselves when it would knock a rightie's away from the chest.

There was a moment of high irony, though. To work on precision against a human target, she had us partner up to stab each other repeatedly. We weren't supposed to move, and some people were really into it...which sounds like it could end in serious injury. When someone poked me in the stomach, I decided that I would pretend I was horribly injured to screw with them. I dropped to the floor and curled into a ball before getting up and telling them I was just kidding. Their next hit shoved the tip (mind, the blunt had fallen off so it was just a sharp metal stick) right into my belly button. The pain from that provides you with 20 seconds of immobilizing pain, followed by a good week of thinking at all times about where your belly button is in relation to snagging objects.
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Eis Makai on April 07, 2009, 01:11:57 pm: DaleG: I know I know! We can play Sonic '06 for the great times we had!
Nightmuse: We have no great times in Sonic '06!
Eis: Wait I know! We will play Sonic Pocket Adventure!
DaleG and Nightmuse: BOOO!
Tikal: That is even worse than Sonic '06 because I am not in it!
SonicAD: Really! we should not get SkyL involved in this!
*SkyL is listening to you*
PPA: Oh great he is here.
RPG: What do we do!?
flyby: I say kick him!
*SkyL was kicked out of #soniccenter*
*SkyL has joined #soniccenter*
*SkyL was kicked out of #soniccenter with the message (AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)*
Werey: I see so that's why he gets kicked?
Werey: I want to know why so?
*Werey was kicked out of #soniccenter with the message (You can join him! (by: Tails))
PPA: <_<
RPG: ?_?
*PPA reads a furry comic*
RPG: :O
DaleG: Ok so he just proved he was a furry just now?
PPA: No, no! The comic has a furry cover!
RPG: So you are still looking at furries?
Eis: I think he is!
PPA: NO! I MEANT THE FRONT COVER HAS A FURRY SKIN!
Eis: That even makes it worse!
PPA: No no! The Comic is a normal comic with a furry velvety front
Nightmuse: PPA you should stop now. This is a battle you just can't win. :D
DaleG: Just except your furry fetish before you lose yourself.
*DaleG was kicked from #soniccenter with this message (You just lost yourself!)

Don't explain what this is! Just ponder.
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Alondite on April 07, 2009, 09:31:46 pm: Quote from: Upthorn on March 27, 2009, 05:39:01 pm
Quote from: Aitamen on March 27, 2009, 05:24:12 pm
Quote from: Pidgey on March 27, 2009, 04:25:30 pm
Explanation plz?

For a straight person to be called the most sexual is just plain wrong...
Sexual orientation is completely uncorrelated to a person being sexually minded.
"most sexual" refers to the latter, not the former, and of all the people on the forum Alondite seems to be the most likely to be thinking about sex at any given time. Your arguement makes no logical sense.

Indeed. Why I'm even thinking about sex right now!
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: General Throatstomper on April 07, 2009, 11:49:24 pm: I walked to the music store the other day to buy a capo. I looked around a bit to see what else they were selling, and the markup was ridiculous. A triangle cost $30, miracas were $20, and small plastic shells filled with beads ran $10. The cost of material and labor can't possibly approach what they charge...plus, most of these 'instruments' have awful timbre or aren't complex enough where anything other than tonality matters. There's so much scamming going on with peddling musical paraphernalia that the industry sidesteps by claiming that anything quality is expensive to create (though...they really aren't). I grumbled a bit about supporting corporate greed before settling on some picks and an economical $2 capo. But this wasn't what I meant to talk about.

I'll always remember what happened on my way home from the store. I took a shortcut through a valley between two streets, and heard a moaning noise. Then I noticed two people making out behind a tree. I couldn't see them on my way into the valley, but suddenly I was walking towards them for a decidedly awkward encounter. The guy had his eyes open, staring right at me while tonguing the girl for a slightly suggestive scene. I flashed him a thumbs up. He gave me a sign to hang loose. It made a pretty good story. I have another story about kissing, but I don't think flyby would find it entertaining.

I have a family friendly anecdote about fencing, though. We were dueling today, swapping from partner to partner, and I got into it. Swords are fun to play with, and anybody who tells you otherwise doesn't understand the concept of 'fun', or perhaps only appreciates the idea intellectually without any deeper understanding. You should take pity on them, but assertively repel their impositions on your own enjoyment. Ok? Ok.

We were dueling in fencing, and I was enjoying myself. I get kind of into it; swords are still fun. So I get into it, and as a leftie basically anything I try will connect. Really, most of these swordfights were five-second exchanges where I'd push their sword out of the way and stab through to the stomach. Most people are confused by mirrors.

Actually, more context is necessary than this. Light taps from the foil usually hurt, and I really whip that blade. During accuracy drills, I poked a hole through the foam padding on the gym wall. That's pretty thick protection...a solid few inches. Usually when I hit a person, they need to take a few seconds to get over the sting. With rotating partners, everybody expects that the same thing will happen to them.

Anyways, I'd gone through a few opponents and came up against a girl known for her pronounced sensitivity. Everything you do with her is the most significant thing to ever happen in her life, and she gets upset very easily. She'd been watching me take people out and make them crumple in pain for a long while. We were supposed to fence each other, and she freaked out when we started. She backed away panicked, jerky foot then to foot then to pavement. I didn't even advance, and she told me I scared her. I decided that I would be nice to her as a gesture of good will; clearly she was uncomfortable with fighting me, and a jab to the stomach would ruin her day. The teacher wasn't looking, so I told her we could just pretend that we went at it and I made contact. Then, as she was walking towards the center, she smashed my hand with the hilt of the rapier. Seriously, what the hell? Next time, I'm aiming for her kidney.
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Alondite on April 08, 2009, 04:30:32 pm: Quote from: General Throatstomper on April 07, 2009, 11:49:24 pm
I walked to the music store the other day to buy a capo. I looked around a bit to see what else they were selling, and the markup was ridiculous. A triangle cost $30, miracas were $20, and small plastic shells filled with beads ran $10. The cost of material and labor can't possibly approach what they charge...plus, most of these 'instruments' have awful timbre or aren't complex enough where anything other than tonality matters. There's so much scamming going on with peddling musical paraphernalia that the industry sidesteps by claiming that anything quality is expensive to create (though...they really aren't). I grumbled a bit about supporting corporate greed before settling on some picks and an economical $2 capo. But this wasn't what I meant to talk about.

I'll always remember what happened on my way home from the store. I took a shortcut through a valley between two streets, and heard a moaning noise. Then I noticed two people making out behind a tree. I couldn't see them on my way into the valley, but suddenly I was walking towards them for a decidedly awkward encounter. The guy had his eyes open, staring right at me while tonguing the girl for a slightly suggestive scene. I flashed him a thumbs up. He gave me a sign to hang loose. It made a pretty good story. I have another story about kissing, but I don't think flyby would find it entertaining.

I have a family friendly anecdote about fencing, though. We were dueling today, swapping from partner to partner, and I got into it. Swords are fun to play with, and anybody who tells you otherwise doesn't understand the concept of 'fun', or perhaps only appreciates the idea intellectually without any deeper understanding. You should take pity on them, but assertively repel their impositions on your own enjoyment. Ok? Ok.

We were dueling in fencing, and I was enjoying myself. I get kind of into it; swords are still fun. So I get into it, and as a leftie basically anything I try will connect. Really, most of these swordfights were five-second exchanges where I'd push their sword out of the way and stab through to the stomach. Most people are confused by mirrors.

Actually, more context is necessary than this. Light taps from the foil usually hurt, and I really whip that blade. During accuracy drills, I poked a hole through the foam padding on the gym wall. That's pretty thick protection...a solid few inches. Usually when I hit a person, they need to take a few seconds to get over the sting. With rotating partners, everybody expects that the same thing will happen to them.

Anyways, I'd gone through a few opponents and came up against a girl known for her pronounced sensitivity. Everything you do with her is the most significant thing to ever happen in her life, and she gets upset very easily. She'd been watching me take people out and make them crumple in pain for a long while. We were supposed to fence each other, and she freaked out when we started. She backed away panicked, jerky foot then to foot then to pavement. I didn't even advance, and she told me I scared her. I decided that I would be nice to her as a gesture of good will; clearly she was uncomfortable with fighting me, and a jab to the stomach would ruin her day. The teacher wasn't looking, so I told her we could just pretend that we went at it and I made contact. Then, as she was walking towards the center, she smashed my hand with the hilt of the rapier. Seriously, what the hell? Next time, I'm aiming for her kidney.

Genus, meet women (not that I'm insinuating that you have not had other experiences with women).

That reminds me of when my ex-girlfriend and I used to wrestle (yeah, sounds mismatched, but wrestling with your girlfriend is great fun). So I would basically grab hold of her wrists and just keep her from doing anything, at which point she would say "Ow, you're hurting me," even though I was barely holding onto her. So I would let her go, and then she would take the chance to jump on top of me and attempt to hold me down. Now she's not very heavy, so if I really tried I probably could have tossed her off (she actually got pretty good after awhile, and it took some doing to get her off), but honestly, what straight guy is going to push off a girl who is laying all over him? Certainly not I.
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: EngiNerd on April 08, 2009, 06:16:30 pm: genus has had another experience with a woman. He proceeded to swallow her gum.
Title: Re: I'm at work and TSC should entertain me!
Post by: Aitamen on April 09, 2009, 09:01:05 am: Quote from: Upthorn on March 27, 2009, 05:39:01 pm
Quote from: Aitamen on March 27, 2009, 05:24:12 pm
Quote from: Pidgey on March 27, 2009, 04:25:30 pm
Explanation plz?

For a straight person to be called the most sexual is just plain wrong...
Sexual orientation is completely uncorrelated to a person being sexually minded.
"most sexual" refers to the latter, not the former, and of all the people on the forum Alondite seems to be the most likely to be thinking about sex at any given time. Your arguement makes no logical sense.

I refrain from discussing my sexuality only because it offends people here... Unfortunately, there seems to be little ground for competition without offending others, in this case, so I'm unsure of how we could go about setting a test for it...

further, I would wager that Alondite's conversations concerning sex and my conversations concerning sex are very different... I would wager he's much more vanilla than I, and thus, his arguments and anecdotes are more commonly accepted. If my bisexuality alone doesn't settle that part, I'm sure the things I don't talk about would...

More on-topic, I honestly cannot view fencing with anything better than mild disdain. Fencers in MWC tend to be the bottom-of-the-barrel (MWC = Mix Weapon Combat). High skill doesn't quite make up for inability to disarm an opponent effectively... technical disarms are worth fewer points than a disarm (technical disarm = they lose grip/drop their weapon... true disarm is breaking the weapon, or otherwise rendering it worthless)

Kudos to those who practice it, for it is great fun, but I'll always prefer Kendo to Fencing. (The look on a fencer's face when you shatter his weapon is something most entertaining)

A left-handed fencer? Rather, an Ambi using a lefty-stance? I could see there being many problems with fighting against such a thing... I've never fought a lefty in anything but Kendo, and they were never any real challenge because I, too, am unorthodox...

Closer to "topic":

my roomie has gotten his old job back, and I'll finally be on more often! I GET TO LIVE MORE YAY!